September 6, 2013 by updatedhomemaker
Now from the teacher’s point of view – my own personal experience with this…
As a former high school teacher, I would see parents come in with their defensive armor up. It could be due to many things – poor performance reflecting in a grade, a misunderstanding, past negative experience with the subject and/or a teacher, negative things said about me/my words/my teaching style. The greatest thing that would bring the armor down, would be seeing each other face to face and discussing it. 90% of the time, it solved the issue at hand. Sticking to facts regarding the work and showing genuine (and it was genuine) interest in the overall success of their child overcame most obstacles. I never disliked any of my students. I recognize that everyone has different strengths and talents. My subject area wasn’t their whole world, but I knew we could work together to achieve success in it. The other 10% of the time when the armor wouldn’t come down, it usually proved detrimental to the student. The parent wasn’t hearing the message. “Yes, I believe in their child.” “Yes, they can do the work.” “Yes, I will help them.” “No, I am not a fire-breathing, subject area fanatic that expects your child to dedicate their life’s work to my area of interest.” When the parental armor remained up, it made it OK for the student to not cooperate with me and OK to not do well in the subject. The victim – the child.
Message: Take your armor down to LISTEN to what is going on. Your child is not perfect. Neither am I. Let’s figure it out together. We both want success for your child.
You can see Part 1 here: Is Your Parental Defensive Armor a Problem? (Part 1 of 3)